Bachmann-Romney Overdrive

Wait! It gets better!

There is a certain type of astonishment - that indescribable, jaw-dropping and gleeful disbelief - which used to be a fleetingly rare occurrence in my life. Happily, this phenomena is now as frequent as bat shit in the night. Such a sensation hit me the other day when it was revealed that Michele Bachmann is in a virtual tie with Mitt Romney in the always entertaining, sweetly amusing GOP presidential campaign.

Yesterday was yet another milestone day in the history of unintentional political comedy - a genre of humor of which Lady Michele has been such a generous contributor. After officially announcing her candidacy from Waterloo, Iowa, the town in which she was born ("WE CAN'T AFFORD FOUR MORE YEARS OF BARACK OBAMA!") she gave an informal, off-the-cuff interview with some genius from Fox Noise. As quoted in this morning's New York Daily News:

"What I want voters to know is, just like John Wayne was from Waterloo. Iowa, that's the kind of spirit I have, too."

Brilliant. Last evening on her MSNBC program, Rachel Maddow was perfectly content to point out the fact that, although the Duke's parents briefly lived in Waterloo years before he was born, he was actually a native of Winterset which (according to the nice folks over at Map Quest) is about 150 miles away (167 miles if you take Route I-36 South), She apparently got John Wayne confused with serial killer John Wayne Gacey, a one-time resident of Waterloo. The gal is the gift that keeps giving. Fate has indeed been kind. I'm giddy. Forgive me.

The very fact that poor old Mitt is neck-and-neck with Bachmann in the opinion polls tells me that there is some semblance of sanity left in that disgusting party. Romney, although decidedly conservative in the classic definition of that word, is fairly moderate when compared to every nominee that the GOP has puked onto the national stage for the last three decades. True, Mitt has been saying a whole lot of really stupid things lately, but that is the only way to get the Republican nomination these days. It's quite funny watching him run away from a background which is, after all is said and done, conservative in almost every respect. I can't offer for you a more perfect example of the extremism with which "the party of Abraham Lincoln" has fallen victim to than the fact that someone with the comparable gravitas of Romney is in serious competition with a fool like Bachmann.

Strange days indeed.

Will the nomination ultimately be hers? One can only hope. As screamingly twisted and hilarious as her campaign may be during the primary season, during the general election it would be a guaranteed pisser. I can just picture her debating Barack Obama. Oh, please, fate!

If we are to believe Michele Bachmann, she was called upon by God to seek public office. Apparently it is the Almighty's wish that America's tax burden should fall squarely upon the shoulders of the poor and middle class and that the top two percent (whom, by the way, have more money than God) should have their taxes lowered even further.

Some have interpreted this to mean, as they have always claimed, that God is a registered Republican. I have a slightly different take on the matter (You're not surprised, are you). I interpret this to mean that God must not have too high an opinion of rich people and that He wants to send the whole lot of them straight into eternal damnation. I seem to recall something from the Bible about it being easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than for a rich man {or woman I assume) to get into Heaven.

I tried an experiment once to prove or disprove this biblical admonition. I had an eye of a needle at the ready but no camel. Not to worry. I used my cousin Megan's dog Gus. Although Chuck is a big dog, he is considerably smaller than your average camel. The result of my experiment is not good news if you happen to find yourself in that top two percent. If I were you folks I'd start praying for a tax increase. Your eternal well being might very well depend on it. Just a friendly suggestion.

Of course there is no way in hell (no pun intended) that Michele Bachmann is going to receive the nomination in 2012 - or any other year for that matter. Much as I might drool over the prospect of something as weird as that, reality forces me to concede that the Republicans just can't be as reckless and foolish as that. Surely there is a "compromise candidate" lurking in the shadows. Fortunately for the Obama camp, that candidate probably won't be Mitt Romney.

GOOD NEWS:
They're smart enough {I think} not to go with Bachmann

BAD NEWS:
They're just too dumb to understand that Romney (and possibly Jon Huntsman) is the only candidate among them who could pose a serious threat to Obama next year.

As was predicted by many (myself included) from the day two years ago when the GOP stupidly embraced the "Tea party", that organization of nitwits has turned out to be an albatross around their necks. The only compromise candidate that will appeal to these freaks will be someone - not quite as extreme maybe as Michele Bachmann - but still too extreme for for moderate voters. And if the strategists at the RNC decide to go with Romney out of sheer desperation, the tea partiers will stay home on Election Day - just as the liberals stupidly did in 2010.

In the meantime the Republicans in Congress are doing everything humanly possible to ensure that the economy crashes. That is the reason - and the only reason - they are trying to prevent the raising of the debt ceiling in August. If America goes into default the proverbial shit will hit the economic fan. When that happens, all bets are off for the president. Their goal is to bring on an economic catastrophe in order to take back the executive and legislative branches of your government on January 20, 2013. That is what human slime like Eric Cantor, Mitch McConnell and John Boehner are banking on. Our livelihood and well being doesn't matter in the least to these bastards. Wake up.

Barack Obama has been a major disappointment, but I have no other choice than to believe (Pray?) that he's saving his best tunes for Act II of this surrealistic comic opera. This much is beyond certain: If the American people ever again stupidly hand over the executive and both houses of congress to the Republicans, this country is finished - assuming we're not there already.

So let's all drink a toast to the campaign of Congresswoman Michele Bachmann. Let's hope it goes on right to the convention next summer - and beyond. Wishful thinking I know, but what the heck; I can dream, can't I?

Tom Degan
Goshen, NY
tomdegan@frontiernet.net

SUGGESTED VIEWING:

CASINO JACK and the United States of Money
a film by Alex Gibney

This excellent documentary tells the story of Jack Abramoff and how his corruption seeped into almost every layer of the Republican party. If it's not available from your friendly neighborhood video dealer (There's gotta be at least one left!) you can pick it up from Amazon.com for under twenty bucks. You really should not miss it.

Privatize Me

If the right wing have their way the word "Public" will no longer be a part of our national vocabulary.

The problem with the elitist mentality of the plutocracy which is seeking to destroy anything concerned with "public works" is that they just can't stomach the fact that we all own a piece the American infrastructure. That is what Benjamin Franklin was thinking when he founded the first public library. He didn't claim it for himself. He didn't charge admission or a rental fee for the privilege of obtaining knowledge from the use of the books contained within. He understood that true freedom meant access - and that access is diminishing with each passing year. The corporations want it ALL for themselves. At this writing it looks as if they might have their way.

I'm not implying that it would be boring living in a corporate-owned police state. They would certainly have enough things out there to distract us, that's for sure. Imagine if every news outlet in the nation were replicas of FOX Noise, the New York Post or the "Excellence" in Broadcasting Radio Network (Rush Limbaugh's outfit). While nothing read in print or heard over the airwaves would be a source of reliable or useful information, it sure as hell would be amusing - in a perverted sort of way,

The fact is, a thousand Sean Hannity clones coming at us from every direction, force-feeding us - not what we need to know, but what they want us to believe - would be the basis of some really heavy-duty satire. Come to think about it, it's already been done. Kurt Vonnegut went down this dark road fifty years ago in 1961, in a short story called, Harrison Bergeron. Look it up. It's prophetic.

I miss Kurt Vonnegut.

"We can have democracy in this country, or we can have great wealth concentrated in the hands of a few, but we can't have both."

-Louis D. Brandeis

Justice Brandeis died seventeen years before I was born, but I imagine those who are old enough (and smart enough) to remember him, miss him as much as I miss Vonnegut.

The problem with the American people is that most of them are just too heart-breakingly stupid to understand what is happening to them - and I really do appreciate that fact - I really do. This is what makes my job such a delight. Life is beautiful. Thank you, Rupert Murdoch.

Take, for instance, the relatively new concept of the "Prison Industrial Complex" (and what a concept indeed!) That's right, boys and girls, your government is in the process of turning over the prison system to the fucking private sector. If you have yet to be acquainted with the ramifications of this nasty development, allow me to enlighten you if I may:

All of us (or most of us I hope) long for a day when societal ills are forever eradicated, and America's prison population is diminished to a barely perceptible molecule of what is is today. It's a beautiful dream, is it not? You may say I'm a dreamer, but I'm not the only one. But it's a dream that is never going to see the light of day if these people have their way. Why?

Here's why: Corporations are not created in order to fail. In fact their entire reason for existing is to expand. That is what the founders of IBM had in mind when they started that company a-hundred-years-ago this month. They wanted to reach into every facet of American life - and they succeeded beyond anyone's wildest imagination. Just look around you. IBM is everywhere.

By privatizing the American prison system, these assholes have created a brand-spanking-new corporate class whose very existence will depend upon those prisons being filled to the rafters with human beings - FOREVER! As a result, the owners will send lobbyists to Washington, who will then bribe our representatives into passing more-and-more punitive laws that will ensure that those prisons are booked to capacity. How will they make a profit? Forced industrial labor - which will be just another drain on American jobs. Think about that: Forced labor. It's something that was officially terminated in this nation one-hundred and forty-six years ago. It was called "slavery". Remember that "peculiar institution"?

Mah! Mah! The ol' plantation sho has changed!
`
`Unlike Nixon's phony "war on drugs" which was launched forty-years-ago this past Friday, the targets of the next mass incarceration won't be merely blacks and other minorities. Here's a little prediction you can take to the bank, kids: When the prison industrial complex of the right wing's rancid dreams is finally a universal reality in this dying country, it won't mean a damned difference what your race is - we'll all be Corporate America's niggers then. I've never been a betting man, but this is too good an opportunity to pass up. Would anyone care to make a little wager on that prediction? Any takers? Hmm???

Why is it that most people refuse to understand what an insanely, monstrous idea this is?

And are you ready for the kicker? Not only do these disgusting bastards and bitches want to do away with the Department of Education, they want to privatize the American school system. "Schools for profit". Isn't that a scream? If and when that becomes reality, the generation of kids "educated" under that system won't be educated at all. They'll be indoctrinated. Keep voting Republican.

And how is privatization working out for the commuters of the Indiana Toll Road? Since the uber-nitwit governor, Mitch Daniels, handed it over to a privately-owned, foreign based firm, the cost of traveling that stretch of highway is about to double what it was in 2006, the year it went "private". The contract the state negotiated, by the way, is for seventy-five years. I come from generations of Indianans. I'm quite embarrassed by this turn of events. Seriously.

Or how 'bout the people of Chicago? How's privatization working out for them? Certain parking meters in that city have been handed over to another foreign-based firm. The rates have risen so high that people just can't afford to park there anymore. Commerce in the infected area has suffered demonstrably. That contract lasts for a century. Sweet deal!

This is not merely where we're going, folks, this is where we are. Wake up. Let's get off of our butts! We have one of two choices: to put a stop to this atrocity, or to passively learn to live with it - like lemmings marching off the cliff into the sea; like corporate-controlled robots. I don't think this is what the Founding Fathers had in mind. How's that for understatement?

In the late winter of 1980, I was a student at Orange County Community College in Middletown, NY. One afternoon, my alarmed sociology professor told his all-but clueless class:

"In the years to come this country will move so far to the extreme right, in thirty years you won't even recognize it."

-Dr. William Byrne

At the time I thought he was just a tad paranoid. As it turns out, maybe not. Call it a hunch on my part but I've got a funny feeling that the good doctor might have been onto something.

Wake up and smell the elephant shit.

Tom Degan
tomdegan@frontiernet.net

SUGGESTED READING:

Welcome to the Monkey House
A collection of short stories by Kurt Vonnegut, Jr.
BREAKING NEWS!!!

Keith Olbermann is back this evening at 8:00 on Current TV with a new and improved version of Countdown. Welcome back, Keith. You were missed - sorely.

FOR YOUR READING PLEASURE:

The Spirit of a Progressive by Peter Fegan:

http://www.spiritofaprogressive.blogspot.com/

Happy reading!

For more recent postings on "The Rant", please go here:

"The Rant" by Tom Degan

Cheers!

Tyell Morton's Brush with Hysteria

See that young fellow in the photos posted above and just to the left? His name is Tyell Morton. He is an eighteen-year-old senior at the Consolidated High School in Rushville, Indiana. Handsome kid, huh? And by all accounts he's a good kid. Just your typical free-spirited teenager from what could be any Midwestern town. And what a sense of humor! Seriously, this is a guy after my own funny bone. Get this: As a prank, he sneaked into the girls bathroom of his school and placed a life-sized, inflatable doll inside. Isn't that funny? This kid is a laugh riot! A comedian waiting to happen!

Wait! It get's better!

This is one of the funniest things I've ever heard! A security camera caught him entering the bathroom with the package containing the uber dolly in hand, and exiting without it. HA! HA! HA! I CAN'T STAND IT! Someone saw this scene transpiring on a video monitor and....and....AND CALLED THE SHERIFF'S OFFICE! THE SHERIFF'S OFFICE CALLED IN THE BOMB SQUAD!!! HAAAAH! MY GUT IS BUSTING!!! And now - are you ready for this? He's....He's....He's....HE'S BEEN BANNED FROM TAKING PART IN HIS CLASS'S GRADUATION CEREMONIES! IS THAT A RIP??? HE'S ALSO BEEN LABELED A TERRORIST!!! That's right! A TERRORIST! Isn't that a scream??? HA! HA! I LOVE IT!!! But wait! Wait! I haven't even gotten to the punch line! Are you ready for this??? Hold onto your sides:

HE'S FACING EIGHT YEARS IN PRISON!!! I SWEAR TO YOU I'M NOT MAKIN' THIS UP!!! EIGHT FREAKIN' YEARS! IS THAT A KNEE SLAPPER OR WHAT??? GUFFAW!!! GUFFAW! GUFFAW!

Please excuse me while I take a deep breath. As a matter of fact, let's all take a deep breath....

When I first learned of this barely believable story before the sun came up this morning, I could not help but notice that Tyell Morton is an African American. Yeah, yeah. I notice those kinds of things. So sue me!

Now listen folks, I realize that the white power structure in this country has this perverted and insatiable need to incarcerate huge numbers of black people - but I'm not even taking issue with that here. Honest! It's something I can learn to live with (I'm white. It's easy). But what the heck, it would seem to me that this is taking matters to the....uh...."extreme" shall we say? Would we even be talking about this story at all if Tyell was named Rusty and was the red-headed, freckle-faced son of the mayor of Rushville? What the hell do you think the reaction would have been if that were the case?

"Ha! Ha! Ho! Well you know what they say! Ha! Ha! 'Boys will be boys!' Ho! Ho! Ha! Ha! Ho!

At this hour, Tyell is being charged with two criminal counts:

1: Institutional criminal mischief (class "C" felony) and

2: disorderly conduct (class "B" misdemeanor)

He has been released from jail on $30,000 bail after languishing there for a week. The state of Indiana owes Tyell Morton a heartfelt apology.

To be perfectly honest with you, this whole stupid affair makes me kind of ashamed of my Indiana roots (My mother is a native of South Bend). It is not what Tyell did that he is being punished for. It is because everyone involved embarrassed themselves silly by overreacting to what he did - in such an insanely comical manner. They need to save their clueless, egg-covered faces by throwing the book at this kid. And remember: that is exactly what he is - a kid - a young adult at childhood's twilight. Let's get a grip here.

The trials and tribulations of Tyell Morton have me thinking back to some of the pranks I pulled off as a precocious (and extremely lovable, I assure you) teenager. Truth be told, and with all due respect to him, as a prankster, Tyell is pretty low budget. The crowd I went around with took pranks to new plateaus never before dreamed of by the prankiest practitioners of pranksterism. Sticking an inflatable doll in the girls bathroom? HA! We used to do that sort of thing in our sleep!

There was this old, weathered bungalow on the outskirts of town where that old gang of mine used to gather at to hang out and party under the stars. Late one Autumn afternoon we decided to dismantle it. We literally just took the place apart, piece-by-piece. Why? Because we could. What the heck! No one was living there and it had been abandoned decades before. Besides, we probably saved the town the cost of removing it as they eventually would have had to do; a thought that never even entered our tender and twisted minds at the time - but one that does somewhat lessen the guilt all these decades later.

And how could I possibly leave out this memorable, late night frolic from the early winter of 1975, when me and my old partner-in-crime, Dan O'Brien, led the local police force on a high speed chase that went to the very edge of the village. They followed us straight onto a field that was covered with a foot of freshly-fallen snow. Because the vehicle Dan was driving had four-wheel drive, we were easily able to maneuver our way back to the road again. They got stuck. Hang your head in shame, Tyell Morton. You think you're so hot.

NOTE TO THE GOSHEN, NY POLICE DEPARTMENT:
This was thirty-six years ago, guys. Chill.

And then there was the day John Harragin, Kevin Swanwick and I blew up the local nursery school....I'm just kidding. We never did anything that weird, I promise.

"It was a senior prank. They're blowing it out of proportion. I didn't hurt anybody. I didn't intend to embarrass anybody. What did I do wrong?"

-Tyell Morton

What indeed. If Tyell Morton had a history of delinquent behavior, the severity of the reaction to his harmless prank would be bad enough, but this kid has never been in trouble a day in his life! Not only that, he's a good student with a great future. One of his persecutors told reporters that this sort of mischief can no longer be looked upon as a harmless, schoolboy prank; that we live in less innocent times, and that Tyell should have taken to heart the lessons of Columbine before he pulled off his wicked little stunt.

REALITY CHECK:
The Columbine High School Massacre in Littleton. Colorado occurred on April 20, 1999 - twelve years ago. Tyell was six-years-old at the time. It is difficult to believe that he even remembers that tragedy let alone taken anything to heart from it.

When I heard about his plight, my immediate reaction was that he deserved to be suspended for two days - at best. Upon further reflection and two cups of extremely caffeinated coffee however, I came to the opinion that he didn't even deserve that. This is not justice, folks. This is crass hysteria.

Tyell, if you're reading this I have a message for you: In a twisted, convoluted sort of way, this horrible episode might very well turn out to be the best thing that ever happened to you. Your life is a reality TV series waiting to happen, pal. You need to hire yourself an agent pronto. I'm available.

Tom Degan
Goshen, NY
tomdegan@frontiernet.net

AFTERTHOUGHT:

The friends of Tyell Morton have started a Facebook page in support of him. Go there and give him a pat on the back. He could use it. Here's a link:

FREE TYELL MORTON

Eight years. Honestly, can you believe these chuckleheads?

UPDATE, 6/19/11:

I was interviewed Thursday evening regarding the case of Tyell Mortin by Mario Solis-Marich on Colorado Public Radio. If you've absolutely nothing better to do, here's a link to listen to it. I come on about twenty-eight minutes in:

http://www.am760.net/cc-common/podcast/single_page.html?more_page&podcast=mariosolismarichcast&selected_podcast=6-16-11%25205pm%2520.mp3

To read other recent postings on this disgusting, commie loving, french-fry-eating site, please go to the following link:

"The Rant" by Tom Degan

Shameful, left wing propaganda.

I TELL YOU, THERE OUGHTTA BE A LAW!

Shh! And please pray for peace.

UPDATE FROM TYELL'S FACEBOOK PAGE:

"Perhaps this will be the final update for awhile. The charges have officially been expunged from Tyell's record, the state issued an apology to him and he's working full time at an automobile manufacturer. We thank you for all your help on this case and we were more than thrilled to hear that Tyell and his family are finally able to move on!"

Tally ho! 

Clash of the Half Wits

The campaign of 2012 kicks off tonight with the first GOP debate in New Hampshire. For those of you who are insatiable fans of unintentional comedy (as I am) the festivities will be carried live by CNN at 8:00 EST. This ought to be good!

The title of this piece, "Clash of the Half Wits", is somewhat of a misnomer. It must be conceded that Mitt Romney, Ron Paul and Newt Gingrich are fairly astute guys. The problem is the fact that Paul is a tad dotty, and Gingrich is as corrupt as they come. That leaves us with Romney.

I'll be honest with you: Of any potential GOP candidate to seek the Oval Office this year, Mitt is the first one since Gerald Ford whom I can honestly say that I won't lose a lot of sleep over if he is elected - certainly not as much as I lost during the years 2001-2009 when Dastardly Dubya and Sickie Dick were destroying this beautiful country. Although I could never bring myself to vote for him, Romney is really much more moderate than anything the Republicans have vomited out onto the national political stage in a generation or more. The only reason he looks so extreme these days is simply because the only way to win the nomination of that disgusting party, a candidate needs to say and do a lot of really stupid things. Fear not. I have been Mitt watching for a number of years now. He is not quite the dunce he would appear to be.

Mitt Romney's problem is that his "moderateness" is perceived by the Republican base as left wing extremism. Add this to the fact that he is a Mormon and you can come to no other conclusion than that he has four strikes against him. If the religious bigots who have hijacked "the party of Lincoln" end up giving him the nomination, it will only be out of sheer desperation; but I just can't see that happening. Casey Anthony will be named Mother of the Year before that ever happens. Don't hold your breath.

There is also the inconvenient reality of the health care plan he offered the people of Massachusetts when he was governor. It actually inspired the Big Black Bolshevik Boogieman who currently resides at 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue. Tim Pawlenty is now referring to it as "Obomney Care". No, I think we can write off poor old Mitt.

SA-RAH! SA-RAH!

Then there is the "Palin factor". As I've fantasized before, my dream would be for her to get the nomination. Not only would the candidacy of Sarah Palin guarantee the reelection of Barack Obama, it would be a months-long holiday for political satirists everywhere. Just think how mind-fuckingly twisted her campaign might be? I wouldn't even have to touch my keyboard from convention to election. These things would literally write themselves!

When you wish upon a star , makes no difference who you are....

Although she hasn't officially announced yet (C'mon, Sarah!) she is making all the moves that would anticipate her throwing the proverbial hat into the ring. Her idiotic sycophants have even produced a movie (I'm hard-pressed to refer to it as a "documentary") that praises her as the best thing to happen to American politics since the invention of the hanging chad. The title of the film? GET THIS: "The Undefeated". No, I'm not making this up. I'm just not that clever.

Recent days have seen a decided chasm in the relationship between Sarah and her compatriot in lunacy, Michele Bachmann. The first volley was fired off by Bachmann spokes-dude and GOP strategist Ed Rollins on MSNBC's Hardball when he told Chris Matthews that Palin should not be taken seriously. It was a remark that riled the feathers of Fascist Barbi's camp as you might imagine. I'm positively giddy with anticipation at the very thought of watching the two of them trying to take each other down.

Like a bolt out of the view, fate steps in to see you through.

Last week saw the utter implosion of the campaign of Newt "The Hoot" Gingrich. It really was something to behold: His entire staff quit on him. It doesn't get much better than this, does it? But our man Newt is gonna keep on keepin' on. He told the Los Angeles Republican Jewish Coalition the other day that he has no intention of giving up - and I believe him. Hang in there, Newt! Of course he'll never get the nomination. Casey Anthony will be named Mother of the Year before that ever happens. Don't forget that Newt is on his third wife - not a particularly appealing thing for the "family values" mob. The only person who doesn't understand that the Newt Gingrich campaign is finished is Newt Gingrich himself. Pathetic.

I cannot wait for this debate tonight. Not in my lifetime has a more colorful assortment of reactionary freaks and fools gathered in one place to debate "affairs of state". The comic possibilities are endless. Hopefully enough people will tune in to take a good look at what has happened to that party. This is too good to describe.

As of this hour, Texas governor Rick Perry is contemplating getting into the race: RICK PERRY??? Oh, please, fate.

When you wish upon a star your dreams come true.

Tom Degan
Goshen, NY
tomdegan@frontiernet.net

SUGGESTED VIEWING:

The Republican Presidential Debates
Tonight at 8;00 EST on CNN

Classic comedy in the making!

AFTERTHOUGHT:

In case you missed last night's debate (and it shouldn't be held against you if you did) Romney was the clear winner. He is the man who could give Obama a serious run for the money. Of course the people who tend to vote in Republican primaries are so heart-breakingly dumb it's a foregone conclusion that he won't win the nomination.

Also, Michele Bachmann did surprisingly well - which doesn't say a hell-of-a-lot for the others. The two with the most to lose, Newt Gingrich and Tim Pawlenty, might as well pack it in. If you can't hold your own against the twit from the north country it's time to go home.

SUGGESTED READING:

Dave Dubya is a frequent contributor to the comments section of this site. Here is a link to his blog:

Dave Dubya's Freedom Rants

Happy reading!

Nary a Clue

Gather 'round, children, while I'm wailin'
About the midnight snooze of Sarah Palin

It is an interesting phenomenon to be sure, to witness the freaks who now control the "party of Abraham Lincoln" giving their little history lessons. Back in January there was the spectacle of uber twit Michele Bachmann, mangling the story of this nation's founding to such a delightful degree, one was tempted to nominate her to the Comedy Hall of Fame:

"We know there was slavery that was still tolerated when the nation began. We know that was an evil, and it was a scourge and a blot and a stain upon our history. But we also know that the very founders that wrote those documents worked tirelessly until slavery was no more in the United States. And I think it is high time that we recognize the contribution of our forebears who worked tirelessly - men like John Quincy Adams - who would not rest until slavery was extinguished in the country."

As Oscar Hammerstein once wrote, "I must have done something good" to deserve Michele Bachmann.

For the historical record:
John Quincy Adams was not one of the Founding Fathers.

For the historical record:
By the time slavery was legally and forever ended in this country, John Quincy Adams had been in the grave for eighteen years.

For the historical record:
Michele Bachmann is a nitwit.

Yes sir, I must have done something awfully good indeed.

And now here comes Sarah Palin rewriting the story of the midnight ride of Paul Revere:

"He warned the British that they weren't going be taking away our arms, by ringing those bells, and making sure as he's riding his horse through town to send those warning shots and bells that we were going to be secure and we were going to be free, and we were going to be armed."

You see? It was all about the Second Amendment! When it was pointed out to her by Chris Wallace on FOX Noise Sunday that she had gotten it wrong, she shot back at the amused reporter that she hadn't gotten it wrong at all. She then complained about the "got'cha" question that had prompted her idiotic response. And what was the question you may well ask?

"What have you seen so far today and what are you going to take away from your visit?"

GOT'CHA!

Leave it to that evil lame stream media. They love tripping up good Americans like Sarah Palin with trick questions like that. That and "What do you read?" There oughtta be a law, I tell you! Come to think about it, if these Nazi wannabe assholes have their way, there will be.

The manipulation of historical facts in order to suit their ideological bias is just one of the more ludicrous goals of the extreme right wing in recent years. Just last year, the Texas Board of Education approved a series of revised school books that threatened to put satirists out of work permanently. As reported on this very site by your trusty correspondent on May 29, 2010:

"The Board of Ed in Texas has taken it upon themselves to rewrite history. You see, the problem with the story of America, they argue, is that it has always been written with a nasty left wing bias. I have to concede their point. Have you ever noticed the way those Liberal historians always tend to focus on the attributes of Abraham Lincoln? They totally ignore all that was good and decent in the character of Jefferson Davis! The Texas Board of Education is going to remedy this awful injustice. From this day forward (if these idiots have their way) Davis will be presented to America's schoolchildren as the moral equivalent of Lincoln. Look away, Dixieland!"

Message to my beloved cousins, the Barras family of Port Arthur:

GET OUT WHILE YOU CAN!

Of course, they can't permanently rewrite the historical record. What I mean is, they can't etch their particular viewpoint into stone. There will always be legitimate historians to set the record straight. There will never be a serious book written that will place Lincoln and Davis on the same moral playing field. The goal of the extremists who now dictate America's political conversation is to merely muddy the historical waters until the next election cycle. After they are firmly intrenched in Washington or wherever, who gives a damn what the masses believe?

Is it true (as they love to complain) that history has always been written with a Liberal/Progressive bias? Well, yeah! Of course it's true! After all, what is history if not the story of human progress? And here's something that should never be forgotten. Had the conservatives had their way two-hundred and thirty-five years ago (back then they were called "Tories") we would still be a colony of England. Then again, I would not have minded that as much as you might think. I've grown quite fond of the her majesty. I think she's a knockout. I really do. She's a pretty nice girl but she doesn't have a lot to say. I can live with it.

A further history lesson from the half-termed, former Governor Palin on the midnight ride of Paul Revere:

"But remember that the British had already been there, many soldiers for seven years in that area. And part of Paul Revere's ride – and it wasn't just one ride – he was a courier, he was a messenger. Part of his ride was to warn the British that we're already there. That, hey, you're not going to succeed. You're not going to take American arms. You are not going to beat our own well-armed persons, individual, private militia that we have. He did warn the British."

[SIGH]

If ignorance is ever made into a human virtue, Sarah Palin, you may be sure, will receive the Nobel Prize. Who can say for sure if she is really planning on running for the GOP nomination next year. It has been speculated that she may be touring the key primary states for no other reason than to pump up her "brand" among the halfwits who constitute her constituency. If this is the case, it really shouldn't surprise anyone who has bothered to pay even scant attention in the last three years to the way this cynical, half-witted bitch operates.

As has been said (and I wish I knew who said it first) Those who do not learn from history are doomed to repeat it. That would more-than explain the current makeup of the one-hundred-and twelfth congress, wouldn't it?

Tom Degan
Goshen, NY
tomdegan@frontiernet.net

AFTERTHOUGHT:

I just received this message on the comments section from one of my favorite readers, Darlene Costner, regarding the unattributed quote I referred to above:

"The Spaniard, George Santayana wrote the quote that 'those who do not read history are condemned to repeat it' (source Wikipedia) and it is often repeated as "those who do not learn from history are doomed to repeat it".

Also, for those flag waving tea partiers, the quote 'give me liberty or give me death' originated with a 'gasp' Socialist."

PATRICK HENRY WAS A COMMIE??? SAY IT AIN'T SO, DARLENE!!! And thank you so much for keeping me on my toes.

Here is a link to her blog. It's called, Darlene's Hodgepodge. Have a look at it, folks. The gal may have a sweet face but - tread lightly - she takes no prisoners:

http://darleneshodgepodge.blogspot.com/

Pray for peace.